Showing posts with label Brainchildren. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brainchildren. Show all posts

Dec 12, 2011

ملكٌ لا يعنيني: الرد وردي على الرد

لي في القدس نبضةٌ خافتةٌ،
خفقة عمرٍ،
حفنة صلواتٍ،
زهرة ياسمين،
وصديقة...

صديقتي هذه لا أراها..
لا تسمعني،
لا أنساها...
نتحد فيسبوكياً كل قليل...
صبحيتنا صورٌ منثورة،
وكلامٌ وحروفٌ،
واشارتٌ يتردد صاداها...

لم أخبرك كل هذا؟
وأنت لا تعنيني...
تباً لذاكرةٍ تنسج الحلم،
وتفقدك الوقت والمنطق...
تذكرت...
أخبرك لأن قدسي الصديقه قد قرأت البيان!

وعلمت أنك لا تعنيني...

قدسي الصديقة أجابت
بما كان يجب أنت أن تنسجه،
تحيكه، ترسله، تعنى به...
صديقتي أنت لا تعنيها...
أنا لا أعنيها...
القدس تعنيها القضايا الكبيرة:
الحرية، الحب، والأمل...
قدسي الصديقة إبنة محمود،
ومحمود...كم افتقده،
ينشر العشق،
يرش الغزل...
إعترافي السابق كان صمتاً،
والصمت موتٌ،
وما اعتادت القدس أن تموت،
أراها تقرأ، تكتب،
صديقتي القدسية ترص بعناية الرد والكلمات،
كما ترص الحلوى ليلة الميلاد...
وترسل التالي: 

احقا لا اعنيك؟
يا امراة اشعلت قنديلا في قلب السماء
وانبتت بخطاها زهرا يملأ الارجاء
وعلى ثغرها الباسم ارتاحت شفتاي

ان كنت حقا لا اعنيك،
لم سطرت الحروف بيانا،
وتكلفت كل هذا العناء؟

لا تهربي وراء دفاعاتك
فما بيننا لا يعنيه أي دفاع
تسللت اليك، الى لائحتك المقدسة
علني المس روحك واحلق بها في كل مكان

لا تظلميني وتظلمي الها
تضرعت له أن يحميك من كل بلاء

ما بيننا يا عزيزتي
لا تمحوه ثورة غضب
سرعان ما تتلاشى عند اللقاء

أجل بلا انا اعنيك وانت تعنيني
فسارعي الى تغيير هذا البيان
ن. ج.
 ...هذا ردي على الرد
...من بيروت
...يا صديقة الدرب
،بيانك نطق بما تتوق الروح أن تسمعه
ولا تسمعه
،ردك نطق بما لا يقال
...وما أردته أن يقول

تمنيته فقط أن يعنى قليلا...
ويهتدي إلى ما اشعلت في السماء قنديلا...

قدسي الصديقة...
ما همني السماء،
والأرض باردةٌ...
وما همني زهر الخطى،
ولا خطى نحوي تسير...

لكن رنات أفكارك تهون العسير...

قدسي الصديقة...

قدسي الصديقة...
اعذريني... تاهت الفكرة،
فالهاتف يخفق
رنةً
رنة

قدسي الصديقة...
من فضلك لحظة...
حتى أعود،
ورجاءً اعتذري من الرائع محمود...

كلمةٌ، حرفٌ، سكونٌ
شدة
نفسٌ، توترٌ، جملةٌ،
همسة...

قدسي الصديقة،
ها أنا ذا...أمسك بالقلم،
عدت أبشرك،
بياناتنا يبدو حركت قلباً
في الروح ينبت،
في العقل رسم...



Dec 4, 2011

10 Things u must CHANGE today!

Well here are we are again! This is another episode if what you can call the  10 series, in which I present 10 things I discover to be interesting, impressive, or inspiring. You can read a previous post from the 10 series here. Now, I have had this post drafted since Oct 15th, but never really had the heart, energy or even the words to finish it until today. I felt there was something missing but with the events that have happened lately: Jeita, Lebanon vs. Korea soccer game, Allouch vs. Shokr's boxing match, university student related incidences and elections, GEW, $32 million paid to STL, power blackouts across Lebanon, MEA strike, and of course the consistent dismissal of citizens rights to a law that protects them against violence, have all left me thinking that this post can not be put off any longer. So here they are, in no particular order, 10 things we can no longer afford to maintain.

1. Ignorance: We can no longer afford not to know. Not nowadays and not anymore! You cannot live in a certain part of the world, and not understand what laws govern it, and how they might impact you. You cannot open a bank account without learning what the regulations and fees required are, purchase a product online without reading the fine print, or marry someone without meeting the family or friends. Since we were all born with the cells, nerves and blood circulation that enables each of us to learn, ignorance is therefore a choice. I firmly believe that you have the right to freely choose anything you want; however, I also believe that your choice is flawed if you have not considered its implications before hand. Ignorance is costly because it results in giving up your free will and ability to decide on your own. Lack of information means that you hand over different aspects of your life to someone else more knowledgeable than you, like a bank, a politician, a firm, an airline, MTCtouch, Alfa, a cab driver, the car dealer and so on and so forth… That’s a lot of people/ organizations controlling what should be YOUR life. You do not need to transform yourself into a Mr. / Mrs. Know_it_all, but at least be aware and constantly search for information and assess its credibility prior to taking or holding back action.

2.  Indifference: There is nothing more irritating than carelessness. You might think that you are only one person, and so you cannot cause a lot of harm or result in any good. But you and I both know that this in not true. Ghandi, Fairuz, John Lenon, and your teacher, each one of those is one person and yet they influenced you and the world in more ways than I can list here. I am not saying that you go on hunger strike, but while simple acts of compassion or consideration cannot cause radical change, they can incrementally make the world around you a little bit better and make you a bit more integrated with your community around you. We are social beings after all, social being derived from society, and therefore it’s simply unnatural to go around disconnecting yourself from what goes around.

3.  Parroting: Parrots are beautiful creatures, but here’s a newsflash: YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING! Which means you have brain cells that can accumulate and analyze information better than any other being out there. So I suggest you use them. If you were intended to repeat everything you have heard or seen without thinking about it or adding value to it, then you would have had two wings and lots of colorful feathers, living in the amazons or in someone's living room eating crackers. Successful people are those who add value, to everything they do, but especially to things they say. Words travel fast, and are used to judge your character often.  It is crucial then that you understand the importance of thinking about what to say and when to say it before you say it. Repetition is a great tool for memorizing, but what future employers, employees, even life partners are looking for is someone who can think for his/herself, has valuable input to share and can contribute to positive change instead of repeat and mimic inherent ideologies and concepts.
 
4. Tautness and Conformity: Adhering to the rulebook and implementing policy and procedure to a T, without questioning them, breeds nothing but underdeveloped capacity. Because only through questioning, discovering, exploring and exposing yourself to people, cultures and concepts beyond your comfort zone will you learn and improve. You think you are just being a good citizen, student or employee, or you might be too scared or too indifferent to rock the boat, but what you are really doing is building your own cage by limiting yourself and settling for conditions that are either unjust or at best, in severe need of improvement. Remember: "The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood." Martin Luther King, Jr.

5. Making fun of others: No one cares if you are a celebrity judge on Celebrity Duets, and no one cares in what context, whether funny haha, a wink or a simple hand gesture; making fun of people, regardless of their condition, reflects nothing but poor taste and cruelty. Making a habit of such a behavior turns the human soul mean, disrespectful and borderline racist. Now, if you do not care about your image, or your personal development as an individual, then you better at least worry about Karma, because it does not play nice with bad boys and girls.

Apr 12, 2011

“OH MY GOD, I AM 29 AND I HAVE BEEN ROBBED!”


I wrote the following few paragraphs (in Italics) a while back. I never published them and I am glad I did not. I realize now I was a bit ahead of myself and that what I wrote reflects less of me now than it ever did.  Let’s just say my perceptions have swayed towards a different path. That said, I leave you with a flavor of these paths, as many of you have bared witness of both. I share them with you on the day my parents and the Lebanese authorities claim I was born. Let’s face it, who can really tell when he or she were born, we were all told a date and it stuck!

“In a few months I will be 29!

Now, to the un-keen eye, 29 is not a specially impressive number. It is no “sweet” 16 or “driver’s license” 18, or “all you can drink” 21. And it’s not one of the big O numbers either…
You never really think about it, but surly you know that one day you will turn 29, just like you turned 19, 10 years ago. And yet lately, I feel like I have been caught off guard, knocked out by a huge bat swung at the back of my skull, and mugged! Yes that’s right I feel mugged. My 20’s were stolen. I am not scared of being 30; it is not fear that I am feeling, seriously, it is not! It is more like a “OH MY GOD, I HAVE BEEN ROBBED!” kind of feeling. And just like a real victim, I am still swinging between denial and reality. Claiming that this can’t be happening to me, I wait for the candid camera guy to pop his head from around the corner to tell me “smile you are on candid camera and you are not 29 you are really 22. We are sorry we drugged you and made you think that you just missed the last 7 years of your life”

Off course you and I both know that the candid camera man will NOT pop his head or any other part of his body for that matter!

Now here is the catch, my life has not been half bad. I actually had a good job. I have a car, which needs a minor paint job, but a car nonetheless. I am healthy, in the sense that I should exercise and eat better, but don’t drop into the ER every 5 minutes. I also have a family that loves me. I own a mac, and one day will get an Iphone (yes these are measures of happiness nowadays don’t pretend to be shocked) and most nice things are within my financial reach. Then why does this morbid feeling of loss continue to clutch at my soul?” I go on to say that while I am thankful… “I just do not feel 29”, and that: “I want a DO OVER!”
Today I am 29! It’s official.
I will also remain 29 henceforth, I strongly urge you to remember that! 


Today, I start consuming the last year in my 20s and in doing so I mark the end of a decade. 10 years is a lot of time people!  8 months ago, I felt robbed out of my 20s, simply because I could not gather how they have passed. And, when I wanted to assess how they were spent, I benchmarked against the 20s of others (P.S. not a good idea, simply because you are who you are, and you are not them). But now it doesn’t seem that I did so bad. In fact I think I did well. A do over is still nice, but since they do not exist, let’s focus on what we have, shall we?

I, like many others, will continue to question how I have spent my years and sometimes will not like the answer, but at least I question, and every once in a while a few satisfactory answers surface. Today, I decide to write these answers down, save them for a rainy day if you like, and share 29 of them with you. In no particular order, they are as follows:

Apr 2, 2011

Steam Puffing Machine


Been places I have never been
my heart, I threw at a passing cloud
my hands reached out,
 
tick tock... tick tock brain cells go
and a soul like a steam puffing machine

Demons whisper in my ears
Angels touch my forehead
I see faces I have never seen

black boxes make up a trap

and in red boxes u breathe
 
the voices play again and again
the stories all sound different
they all sound the same

Che' sits in one corner
and an apple sits in hand
the paradox is hysterical
the revolution is bland

tick tock... tick tock my brain cells go
and a soul like a steam puffing machine



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