Rice and Beans

My friend: I dreamt you wrote another blog the other day

I barely cracked a smile

My friend: Did u stop writing? You did, didn’t you?

Me: My mind is so jumbled up, I can’t put 2 words together.

My friend: Don’t stop writing…

I continue eating my fasolia w riz (rice and beans) lunch and she leaves a few minutes later.

As I swallowed (not chewed) down my lunch, I got thinking about the muddle clouding my mind, and I suddenly felt the need to gasp for air. I was overwhelmed by what’s going on around me, above me, inside of me. What happened in Lebanon in January, what emerged in Tunis and how things ended up in Egypt was exhausting. As an Arab, a Lebanese, a human, I feel frustrated, appalled, broken and drained… Then Libyans scream justice, Bahrainis get shot at the pearl round about and there are talks of earthquakes in other countries regionally and elsewhere (no need to list them you know who they are)

Now add to the mix the fact that Palestine is still occupied by monsters, Lebanon still has no government and is at a tug of war. And if that’s not enough, let’s spice things up, by the fact that we (Lebanese) are willing to protest for everyone but ourselves.

Multiply the above by the lousy economic condition (sure there are talks of things picking up but really amidst this turmoil, what does that mean?) and by the fact that the environment is so messed up, I must say this winter (if you can call it a winter) was the worst winter I have witnessed in Lebanon.  Throw in a pinch of daily personal struggles, and now try to gasp for air, if you can. Try to feel balanced, if you can. Try to sleep at night or in the morning, if you can… I know I can’t.

Please don’t misunderstand this as a call of despair. I am more optimistic than ever. Things are changing, moving and as hard as it is to catch up, to understand, to digest, it is a million times better than having to put up with 30 or 50 years of injustice without being able to say a word.

All psychiatrists agree, talking about your problem is the first step to solving it… So I have talked and hopefully you have listened.

Next step: Come up with a plan to restore one’s soul…

Till the next post… 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.